Spousal Rape is Widespread, and No-One is Immune.

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From a recent episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show:

It’s the ultimate betrayal…a crime so disturbing, many victims never tell a soul. According to reports, about 1.5 million women are raped or physically assaulted by their partners every year.

Although spousal rape is punishable by law in all 50 states, many offenses go unreported. Two women who hid their shame for years are finally speaking out. They want every woman in America to know it can happen to anyone.

In 2005, Tascha, a wife and mother, was crowned Mrs. Oklahoma. “Whenever someone sees the crown they think, ‘She has it all together, she’s beautiful, she’s well spoken, she’s well rounded and educated,'” she says.

What many people don’t know is that Tascha is a spousal rape survivor. “Underneath it all, there was a really dark period in my life that no one suspected, because I didn’t share with anyone,” she says. “Friends didn’t know, family didn’t know. It was something that I basically took on myself, by myself.”

Read more about Tascha’s and other women’s stories here.

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5 thoughts on “Spousal Rape is Widespread, and No-One is Immune.

  1. Spousal Rape is Widespread, and No-One is Immune. –Husbands included.
    I think it is more unbelievable and more unimaginable.. I suspect alcohol was involved in an overwhelming number of these betrayals..NO EXECUSE

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  2. Does your partner…

    Use emotional and psychological control?

    Call you names, yell, put you down, make racial or homophobic slurs, or constantly criticize or undermine you and your abilities as a wife, partner or mother?
    Behave in an overprotective way or become extremely jealous?
    Make it difficult for you to see family and friends, or “bad-mouth” your family and friends?
    Prevent you from going where you want to, when you want to, and with whomever you want to?
    Humiliate or embarrass you in front of other people?

    Use economic control?

    Deny you access to family assets like bank accounts, credit cards or a car?
    Control all the finances, force you to account for what you spend or take your money?
    Prevent you from getting or keeping a job or from going to school?
    Limit your access to health, prescription and/or dental insurance?

    Make threats?

    Threaten to report you to the authorities (the police, courts or child protective services) for something you didn’t do?
    Threaten to harm or kidnap the children?
    Make you afraid by using looks, actions or gestures?
    Display weapons as a way of making you afraid or directly threaten you with weapons?
    Use anger or “loss of temper” as a threat to get you to do what he wants?
    Threaten to expose your sexual orientation to friends, family or employer, if you are gay or lesbian?
    Threaten to report you to INS or immigration?

    Commit acts of physical violence?

    Carry out threats to hurt you, your children, pets, family members, friends or himself?
    Destroy personal property or throw things around?
    Grab, push, hit, punch, slap, kick, choke or bite you?
    Force you to have sex when you don’t want to or to engage in sexual acts that you don’t want to do?
    Prevent you from taking medications or getting medical care?
    Deny you access to food, fluids or sleep?

    These are some of the most common tactics used by abusers to control their partners, they are but certainly not the only ones. If your partner does things that restrict your personal freedom or make you afraid, you may be a victim of domestic violence. To find help, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE.

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  3. Exactly – see what’s happening to nadine? Typical. They lose focus of the real issue (the rape, assault) and find reasons to justify those acts. As more victims see other victims become survivors, they would too, I hope.

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  4. abcd,

    Thanks for your comment. I’m forever in awe of those women who survive such an ordeal and still find the strength to speak out. It’s even sadder to think of all those other women who never find the strength to speak out, or who die before they can get themselves out of an abusive situation.

    Even worse is when those women who come forward to name their abusers and to speak out against their abuse are accused of being whores, of being promiscuous, of somehow deserving the abuse they endured. I think it’s that fear of being accused, of being blamed, that keeps many victims from coming forward.

    Hopefully, Oprah’s program will help many other victims find the strength to give voice to their suffering. DV should no longer be treated as a private matter. Violence against one woman is violence against all women, against all people.

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  5. Wow. Thanks for sharing, Abdul. It’s amazing how she hid it for so long and so well. It’s just something that women learn to live with when it happens to them and that shows how weak women are and strong at the same time. I hope everyone reads this and see how marital rape takes place. It kills me to think that so many people dont even imagine that a husband can rape his wife.

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