Looks Like I’m It!

I recently got tagged in this post and, from my cursory knowledge of blog tag, it looks like I’m obligated to play along.

Having been tagged, I have to write down five things about myself that no-one knows and then tag three more blogger friends. But it’s not that easy for me. I mean, if there are five things about me that nobody else knows, then it means I must not want anyone to know these things. So how can I post such closely guarded secrets on my blog? Second problem is that I don’t have three blogger friends. The only person I could legitimately call a blogger friend is the one who tagged me and I don’t think I can tag him back.

Oh well. Here goes:

1) For some inexplicable reason, I have a bizarre rapport with cats, children, and homeless people. Cats—even those with reputations for being skittish—will warm up to me like we’re old friends, like we suckled together at the teat. Children will stare slack-jawed at me as they walk past with their parents. Infants crane their necks out of their strollers as they’re wheeled by, just to gawk at me. And, for reasons unknown to me, homeless people love me. I’ve been hugged by more homeless people than I care to count. And not just in DC either. London, Paris, Prague, Krakow, no matter where I find myself, homeless people will drop whatever they’re doing for a chance to talk to me. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they cry, but always they seem to enjoy simply talking to me. Of course, I always keep one hand on my wallet pocket whenever I’m hugged by a homeless person.

2) I used to be very conservative in my political and social outlook. I thought people were poor because they were lazy and stupid. I though Black Americans had no culture. I thought welfare encouraged laziness and poverty. I thought the death penalty was not only OK, but in some cases was the only fitting punishment. That’s why today I have so little patience for conservatives. I know that deep down inside, they are very unhappy people who love neither themselves nor others, and their ideology reflects this.

3) I scored in the 96th percentile on the verbal section of the GRE. Only 4% of the people who took the exam at that time scored better than I did.

4) I lost my faith in God, my parents, and the Olympics at the same time, when I was about 15. I realized God was a fictional character made up to explain natural phenomena and also to make us feel totally powerless and fatalistic. I discovered that my parents were merely human. And I decided that wealthy countries disproportionately dominate the Olympics while poorer countries are totally marginalized. Especially in the Winter Olympics. It’s like a bunch of Northern countries got together and said, “Hey, let’s find a few sports that Africans, West Indians, Southeast Asians, South Asians, Middle Easterners, Arabs, Latinos, and Asian/Pacific Islanders don’t play and build a major international sporting event around them.” That’s why I prefer the World Cup. Wealthy countries don’t necessarily dominate here.

5) I like to play, and sometimes to watch, sports but I’m deeply suspicious of people who know a lot about sports but not much else. OK, suspicious isn’t quite the word. Scornful is more like it. It’s a big world with lots going on so I see no justification for anyone to only be interested in sports. And it’s not like they’re truly sports enthusiasts. Generally, they tend to be only interested in US sports: American football, baseball, and basketball. While the first one is only played in the US, the second is popular in Latin America and Japan while the third is getting more and more popular all over the world. Yet the sports “enthusiasts” I know are only interested in US teams, players, and matches. There’s more going on here than meets the eye. Solipsism.

Now I have to tag three friends in the blogosphere. I searched far and wide and I had to stretch a bit as only one of these people is actually my friend, in the real-world sense anyway.

1) All Robin, owner of the sexiest legs in the entire blogosphere, writes a progressive blog in which she routinely flays conservatives while dispensing titillating advice on sex and relationships.

2) Neil Payne, long-time friend and neighbor, is leaving for Latin America, where he will be spending an as-yet-undetermined amount of time. He’ll be chronicling his thoughts and travels in this blog.

3) Unique Muslimah, a truly original blog that combines stunning photography with musings on God, religion, and much much more.

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6 thoughts on “Looks Like I’m It!

  1. Pingback: tagged, i’m it « neil payne

  2. great post. thanks for the laughs and thought provocation. was that really poor english? i’d probably score in the 16th percentile of english on the GRE. 😉

    i’ll have to think about my 5 and find people to tag later.

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  3. Thank you so much for your support and praise! It’s really sweet of you. I hope you continue reading and I hope I continue delivering good posts. I will try out the tag soon when I have stable internet access as I’m now travelling these days 🙂

    Like

  4. this is one of the best posts i’ve ever read. just the sheer honesty and reality of it all. it’s like meeting someone in person almost. i dont like the olympics for the same reason, and i can’t stand sports fanatics. well maybe not all of them, but the ones that refuse to listen to your opinion on anything because you dont like their team. i’ve got a friend like that. he is a good guy, but there is no debating him.

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