Sagging Scrota and Other Aging Woes.

On Saturday, I had brunch with my cousin, his wife, and her sister. At one point, the conversation turned to old men who go after young women. Naturally, we ended up talking about all the different ways in which old men are “gross.” My cousin, ever optimistic in matters of medical science said, “You can get a scrotum tuck nowadays, you know.” Baffled, I eloquently replied, “Whoa!! Back up!! What’s a scrotum tuck?”

By the time my cousin was done answering my question, I had a brand new age-related worry. To back hair, beer bellies, erectile dysfunction, hearing loss, hair loss, diabetes, cancer, and heart disease, I can now add scrotal sag. Yes, you heard right. Scrotal sag! Apparently, as a man gets older, his scrotum sags and hangs lower and lower. Even worse, women are profoundly turned off by a sagging scrotum!

Man, life is so unfair! I’m a decent guy! I go to work, pay my taxes, occasionally give money to the homeless. And what do I get in return?! The promise that my testicles will end up dangling between my knees, that’s what! Looks like I’ll have to put my long-abandoned tighty-whities back in circulation, if only to delay the ultimate outcome of the cruel plot gravity and age have hatched to wreak havoc on my nether regions.

I’ll also have to add another instrument to my morning ritual. The scale, razor, and multiple mirrors have long been part of my overall strategy for observing and documenting the ravages of time on my body. To these age-old staples I’m going to have to add a tape measure.

I should probably start setting some cash aside for that scrotum tuck.

12 thoughts on “Sagging Scrota and Other Aging Woes.

  1. These are normal concerns. But don’t let it take over your life. I mean, everyone ages. And women age faster than men. Think of the anxiety most women feel about getting older. With so much pressure on them to maintain their beauty and prolong their youth. Nowadays people age slower due to exercising, and yoga and good products and healthy eating.
    People also age differently. But women are not usually as superficial as men. I was 28 and fell in love with a guy 15 years older. He had a really great body. Great physique. And package. But he was always concerned with his hair. I’d honestly love the man I was with even if he gained weight. Or got bald. Bald guys are sexy too. And I think men look good after 40. Also, it depends on how his balls are. Lol. I mean guys testicles vary. Not every guy’s testicles will sad dramatically. But we all get older. Women with large breasts have to worry about sagging as well. I’m extremely fit and I night doubt my boobs with ever sag. But I’m sure my skin with change. Everyone is concerned about their aging appearance. But I’m sure if a woman really loves you, she will love you for more than your body. Its not a big deal. And if it troubles you, consider the surgery. As long as its not so dangerous. Don’t worry so much. Eat healthy. Work out. Aging men are handsome by my standards and nobody is perfect.


  2. I’m 64 and been stretching my balls 8 years. They hang 3/4 the way to my knees..what a great feeling it is.. As women get older they get better. And pleasing a mans balls is a great pleasure.
    For u woman who gross out with balls you must be in you twenties. When u mature you will get better.


  3. I am 61 and my scrotum and balls are not large enough to “hang to my knees” as you other guys brag or woe about. And my partner is okay about it but HIS are fuller; not “saggy” like mine! And after I shaved this month I do suffer a lot from dehydration,


  4. Pingback: Saggy testicles | Kerilaborntera

  5. I’m in my 60s and of late have experienced sagging testicles. I rather enjoy it to a point, however, after I am in the car for a while and stop to get out I always need to pull one or the other away from the leg that it may be stuck to. ( I have worn tight briefs all my life) The worst is when I use the bathroom. The tea bag is real and to me disgusting! Do any of you have any ideas about the toilet thing? Thanks


  6. I am 61 yrs young, almost 62, and my nuts hang down a little more than they used to, however if your women has always loved your balls then this should be a bigger treat for her, as they are easier to put in her mouth and suck on.


  7. I thought everyone knew this.

    My father & grandfather had saggy scrota I’m 56 and while not way down, mine are 2x as far down as they were when I was in my 20’s.

    I am surprised to learn that most women are turned of by very saggy balls. I thought that women loved the sound and feel of men’s balls slapping them during intercourse.


    • Dead wrong. We are two chicks in a bar talking about how gross it is when a guy’s balls slap you during sex. -Love, Victoria & Shana, Detroit MI


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