Does that Dildo Come in Black?

After spending the past week chest-deep in the James Watson racism brouhaha, it’s nice to get back to my standard fare of sleazy blog posts. And what could be sleazier than a dead Baptist minister? A dead Baptist minister in conservative Alabama clad head-to-toe in a rubber outfit and hogtied, that’s what! Oh, I forgot to mention he had a dildo in his . . . um . . . let’s just say he put it where the sun don’t shine. And by that, I mean his anus.

That’s right, folks, another conservative, anti-sex, anti-abortion, anti-gay, family-values Christian fundamentalist has been outed for being a total hypocrite. It is tragic that the Rev. Gary M. Aldridge’s outing coincided with his death, but the point remains that he was privately indulging in activities that he publicly denounced. Aldridge, an associate of the late Jerry Falwell, had ministered for 16 years at the Thorington Road Baptist Church in Montgomery, Alabama.

The autopsy report—which had been suppressed by the medical examiner’s office since June—was just this month published by The Smoking Gun. It seems the late Reverend Aldridge was found dead in his home and there were no signs of foul play. Here’s an excerpt from the autopsy report:

The decedent is clothed in a wet diving suit, a face mask which has a single vent for breathing, a rubberized head mask having an opening for the mouth and eyes, a second rubberized suit with suspenders, rubberized male underwear, hands and feet have diving gloves and slippers. There are numerous straps and cords restraining the decedent. There is a leather belt around the midriff. There is a series of ligatures extending from the hands to the feet. The hands are bound behind the back. The feet are tied to the hands. There are nylon ligatures holding these in place with leather straps about the wrists and ankles. There are plastic cords also tied about the hands and feet with a single plastic cord extending up to the head and surrounding the lower neck. There is a dildo in the anus covered with a condom.”

In case you have trouble conjuring up a mental image, just visualize “the gimp” from Pulp Fiction, only hogtied. The best part is the personal effects, listed on the bottom of page 4 of the autopsy report: “One yellow metal ring intact on left ring finger, one dildo.” Talk about having something embarrassing on your permanent record!

On a more serious note, at least one other blogger has raised the possibility that the reverend was not alone when he died; I too have to wonder if it’s possible for someone to tie himself up that completely without some help. After all, his hands were tied behind his back, with his feet tied to his hands. If someone else had been with the reverend when he asphyxiated, how sad is it that this person—probably out of shame—chose to escape and protect his or her own identity rather than get the help that may have saved Aldridge’s life?!

And what’s up with the wetsuits? I’m assuming the reverend would have had a really hard time finding a proper latex fetish suit in a state that had just banned the sale of dildos—he probably supported the ban too! Fortunately for Reverend Aldridge, diving gear was apparently still legal. Unfortunately for him, indulging in bondage in an open and safe way is not widely accepted in his circles. Otherwise, he might still be alive.

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Ann Coulter Says Jews, Unlike Christians, are Not “Perfected.”

 

During a recent appearance on CNBC’s “Big Ideas,” right-wing media darling Ann Coulter said a bunch of really ignorant stuff to host Donny Deutsch. But perhaps, none of her utterances was worse than this one:

“We [Christians] just want Jews to be perfected.”

A stunned Donny Deutch, himself a Jew, tried to give Coulter a way out by saying “Wow, you don’t really believe that, do you?” But the Aryan ice queen would not relent, stating that where getting to heaven is concerned, Christianity is “more like Federal Express.”

Well thank you, Ann, for pointing out the futility of my existence. I mean, since I’m not Christian, I guess I might as well come to terms with the fact that there’s no guarantee I’ll wind up in heaven. After all, if Christianity is like FedEx, non-Christianity must be like the regular postal service. Man, it looks like I’m doomed to take the long and circuitous route to heaven—assuming I don’t end up in an altogether different place. Everyone knows how unreliable the regular postal service is.

Boy, Christians are so lucky! I mean, they know they’re going to end up in heaven, unlike the rest of us poor souls who have no idea where we’ll end up. I guess because Christians like Ann Coulter are so certain they’re going to heaven, they don’t even need to be decent people here on earth. That probably explains why she recently had this to say about four women whose husbands had died in the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks: ”I’ve never seen people enjoying their husbands’ deaths so much.” Come to think of it, this knowledge that Christians are ensured a place in heaven explains why so many of them don’t even bother living by the ”Christian” principles they themselves so loudly proclaim. Take, for example, the virulently anti-gay Rev. Ted Haggard, who enjoyed performing oral sex on a male escort. And let’s not forget the pro–family values Senator from Idaho, Larry Craig, who was arrested in a men’s bathroom in the Minneapolis airport for soliciting sex from an undercover police officer.

Ann Coulter has really earned my gratitude for showing me the light. I generally wouldn’t trust a woman whose adam’s apple is bigger than mine but, since she makes such a compelling argument, I have to make an exception for her. I will run, not walk, to the nearest house of Christian worship to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior.

Then again, if that means ending up in the same afterlife as Ann Coulter, I think I’ll take my chances with the other place.

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Deja-Vu: Another Gay Sex Scandal Hits Republicans.

Another rabid homophobe in the GOP has pleaded guilty to indecent conduct in a public men’s bathroom.

Three-term Sen. Larry Craig of Idaho was arrested on June 11 in a men’s bathroom at the Minneapolis airport after allegedly using coded signs to solicit an undercover male officer, who was in an adjoining stall. Craig apparently tapped his foot in a certain way, which the undercover officer recognized as a coded indication of interest in sexual activity.

Craig, who has consistently run on a “family values” platform and spoken out against the “homosexual agenda” was sentenced to a $500 fine and one year’s probation.

I’d go on and on but it’s easier to just link back to an earlier posting.

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Republicans Gone Wild!! or, Why is the Republican Party Home to So Many Sexual Deviants?

I have a theory.

I believe that many (if not most) male right-wing politicians are hypocrites. They rail against homesexuality and infidelity while, at the same time, they fight the urge to give in to their “immoral” or ”indecent” desires. And, as recent sex scandals prove, they don’t always win.

Take, for example, the cases of abstinence-only campaigner Randall Tobias, gay-bashing reverend Ted Haggard, and family values champion Senator David Vitter? All these men publicly promoted such “family values” as marital fidelity, heterosexuality, and other manifestations of moral fortitude and Christian values. Yet Tobias and Vitter were both exposed as clients of the DC Madame, who ran an escort service specializing in sexual fantasy and roleplay. It turns out Ambassador Tobias likes to have sex with women who are not his wife while Senator Vitter enjoys being diapered by them. For his part, Reverend Haggard, a relentless anti-gay campaigner, was outed by a male prostitute who revealed that he had received money and oral sex from Haggard.

More recently, Florida State Representative Bob Allen (R-Merritt Island)—sponsor of legislation against “Lewd or Lascivous Exhibitionism,” “Sexual Solicitation,” and ”Lewdness and Indecent Exposure”—was arrested in a public men’s restroom after offering to pay an undercover cop $20 for the pleasure of performing oral sex on him. To clarify, Allen offered the cop $20 if he (the cop) would let Allen fellate him. Allen later told a news conference that he was so intimidated by the cop (who was Black) that he offered to suck him off just so he could walk out of the public bathroom alive. At least Representative Allen is well-rounded in his bigotry.

But if these conservatives like to blow men and/or cheat on their wives, why can’t they just be honest about who they are? I mean, although they still face a lot of bigotry—most of it coming from people like Haggard and co.—millions of gay men and women live honest lives outside the closet. And while there is nothing commendable about marital infedility, many swinging and swapping couples manage to work out arrangements that work to the detriment of none. While I know Democrats and liberals cheat on their wives and engage in other “immoral” behavior as well, it seems like the conservative ranks—home to those who most vociferously denounce anyone who doesn’t conform to their idea of decency and morality—produce the most sexually deviant and hypocritical public figures.

As I see it, people like Allen, Haggard, Tobias, and Vitter affiliate themselves with the conservative party and adopt the most anti-gay and moralistic stances in an attempt to distance themselves from who they really are. I think they do it to avoid suspicion. After all, who would suspect a leading gay-basher like Haggard of wanting to suck another man off ? Who would suspect that a family-values politician like Vitter enjoyed cavorting with hookers while wearing diapers? Who would suspect that Randall Tobias, a champion of abstinence and fidelity, enjoyed paying for extramarital sex? By denouncing the people who openly do the things they themselves secretly do or would like to do, these conservative hypocrites hope nobody will ever question their moral fortitude or discover that they are not 100% morally upstanding.

And it usually works.

Not on me, though. By now, whenever I hear a conservative ranting and raving against homosexuals, I think to myself, “Somebody stick a c*ck in this dude’s mouth already so he’ll shut the f*ck up.”

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Islam, as Seen from a Muslim Woman’s Point of View.

I have always been annoyed that many non-Muslim Westerners, who know not even the first thing about Islam, vociferously proclaim the religion to be misogynistic, oppressive of women, and generally anti-woman.

Now I’m no expert on Koranic laws vis-a-vis women but I agree with Unique Muslimah that a lot of the misogyny in Muslim societies is more the result of ethnic and cultural traditions than of religious obligation.

Read the full post here.

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Ocean City Fetus Case Revisited.

So, I just found out that Christy Freeman, the Ocean City, Maryland, woman who is being charged with murder for what looks to me like a self-performed—or at the very least self-induced—abortion may, if convicted, be sentenced to death!

I know that in reality, the chances of Christy Freeman actually being executed are pretty slim but I think it’s outrageous that the judge would even tell her that she might be. I mean, all this woman did was abort a fetus, for crying out loud!! Have we gone so crazy that we would kill a living, adult woman who supports four children because she decided, 26 weeks into her pregnancy, that she didn’t need any more children? Have we really reached the point where we demonstrate that the potential life of an unborn fetus is more valuable than the actual life of the living human being in whose womb that fetus grows? This is madness!!!

What this case proves is that, regardless of societal or legal restrictions on abortion, the need will always remain. The fact that some people think women shouldn’t be allowed to have abortions does not mean that every woman who gets impregnated will want to give birth. The law may take away the choice but it can never take away the need. But the whole point of choice is that women should choose whether, when, and under what conditions to have children.

When the anti-abortion wackos figure out a way to spontaneously generate children without the need for living women, they can dictate whether, when, and under what conditions children should be born. Until they can find a way to produce children without using women’s wombs, I maintain that the rights of the woman always supercede those of the fetus growing in her uterus.

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Dubyu Tee Eff????!!!!

I’m frustrated by the media’s coverage of the case of an Ocean City, Maryland, woman who has been arrested and charged with first degree murder in the death of her unborn child. I feel like the media’s coverage of this story is leaving a lot of questions un-asked and unaswered. As far as I’m concerned, this case is more about abortion and abortion rights than it is about murder. For me, the possibility raised by this case that abortion is being driven back underground through legislation and social convention is far more troubling than the gruesome details of the investigation.

Christy Freeman, a local businesswoman and mother of four, was admitted to hospital after her live-in boyfriend found her in the bathroom, unconscious and bleeding. Hospital staff then discovered that Freeman’s uterus contained a 36-week-old placenta, but no fetus. Freeman initially denied having been pregnant or knowing she had been pregnant, but she later confessed to police that she had given birth to a “gloopity glop,” which she flushed down the toilet. Police searched her home anyway and found a fetus wrapped in a towel and hidden under the sink in the bathroom vanity. Police also found the remains of three other fetuses in the home Freeman shared with her boyfriend and in an RV parked on their property.

It’s as yet unclear how the other fetal remains ended up in the Freeman home and how old they were at the time of death but I assume they, like the most recent fetus, were all delivered premature and stillborn by Freeman, who has been charged with murder only in the case of the most recent fetus. She is being charged under a 2005 state law that makes it illegal to kill a viable fetus. The viability of the fetus found under the sink has yet to be establised, however, as it was only 26 weeks old and appeared to have been stillborn. But according to State’s Attorney Joel Todd, Freeman admitted to having done something to terminate the pregnancy and, while her exact words were not released or quoted, they were enough to earn her a first-degree murder charge.

Because of the media’s coverage of this story, I don’t know enough about the issue or the law to comment on the merits of the state’s case. This makes no difference to me since I am more interested in this woman’s background, where she was raised, what she believed, etc. because I believe that information would shed a lot more light on this case than police reports and quotes from neighbors and prosecutors.

There’s a strong possibility that Christy Freeman is a crazy person. I mean, she lists her four children on her website among her hobbies. But she is also someone who definitely needs sex ed and contraception counseling. After all, this woman had already delivered four children and the four fetal remains clearly indicate that she didn’t want to raise any more kids. But why didn’t she get on the pill, use condoms, a sponge, a diaphragm, spermicidal gel, an IUD or any of the host of other contraceptive combinations available? Did she not know of these things? Or was she just morally opposed to contraception? And, after she got pregnant each of those four times, why didn’t she just pay a visit to the local Planned Parenthood? I know abortion is never an easy choice but it sure beats the hell out of delivering a dead baby in your bathtub, wrapping it in a towel, stashing it under the sink, and waiting for the profuse bleeding to stop. And, it’s a thousand times more disturbing if it turns out that the four fetal remains—essentially multiple miscarriages—were the result of her performing abortions on herself.

Since the media isn’t asking the really important questions in this case, I’m going to speculate on what went down. It’s possible Christy Freeman is completely ignorant of contraceptive methods, but this is unlikely because even in backwards Ocean City, you can find condoms in every gas station and convenience store. More likely, she was raised in a conservative environment where there was little talk of sex or contraception, and where abortion was the ultimate taboo. Why else would this owner of a popular and successful taxicab company endure the horrific ordeal of giving birth to dead or dying babies and then hide the remains in her home? Besides the aforementioned possibility that she’s crazy, of course. Christy Freeman probably did not want anyone to know she had had an abortion because she did not want to be stigmatized. And why would the state’s attorney charge her with first-degree murder? Because the state has decreed that killing a viable fetus (read having an abortion) is tantamount to murder. It seems that Christy Freeman, having found herself trapped between state law and social stigma, had more than enough reason to not seek a safe and professional—but perhaps not 100% secret—abortion.

So what we have is a woman living in a conservative county, in a state that has decided some abortions are murders, who would rather give birth in her bathroom and stash fetal remains around her home than go to Planned Parenthood for an abortion. And, to make matters worse, she is now being charged with murder!

Like Majikthise, we should all be completely outraged! How much longer before we find ourselves back in the bad old days of wire hangers and back alley abortions?

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We made our bed so now we have to lie in it.

In the past week, the U.S. Supreme Court, led by chief justice and Bush appointee John Roberts, capped off a general rightward swing by ruling 5–4 against several progressive issues once thought sacrosanct. The result of this rightward swing is that the court ruled in favor of conservatives twice as often as it ruled against them. 

Among the major decisions handed down by the court was one stating that it was unconstitutional to use race as the basis of school diversity and integration programs. Critics and opponents of the decision say it will reverse decades of progress in desegrating public schools.

The court also upheld a nationwide ban on late-term abortions, thereby throwing a bone to the anti-choice elements that form the basis of George Bush’s presidency and possibly paving the way for an all-out ban on all abortions. After all, the reversal of the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision that legalized abortion in the U.S. has been a major goal of the pro-life movement.

Free speech was another casualty of the new Supreme Court. Well, free speech for students anyway. In a 5–4 decision, the court ruled against free speech for students in the “Bong hits 4 Jesus” case. At the same time, the court ruled that the restrictions placed on corporations and unions running last-minute election campaign advertisements on television would seriously limit political speech. The restrictions had been introduced in 2002 after passage of the McCain-Feingold campain finance law. So, I guess free speech is for corporations but not students.

Certainly, not everyone is as troubled by these decisions or the court’s general shift to the right. On the contrary, many people—especially the die-hard conservatives who voted for George Bush—are quite pleased with these decisions.

The rest of us, however, are now stuck with a right-wing court with two of the most conservative judges aged 52 and 57. Justice Stephen Breyer is right to say, in a dissenting opinion, that “It is not often that so few have so quickly changed so much.”

I shudder to think about what else they’ll change over the remainder of their terms on the court.

Oh, did I mention these guys are appointed for life?

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Bill O’Reilly: Immigration is bad for America and the Republican Party

I guess it was only a matter of time before I had to do this. I was desperately hoping I wouldn’t have to but . . . [sigh] duty calls.

According to Bill O’Reilly, guardian of all things decent and American, there are certain segments of American society who so despise the fact that “America is run primarily by white, Christian men” that they want to completely “change the white, Christian male power structure.” This explains why people on the left, like the New York Times support a more relaxed approach towards immigration.

People who oppose mass deportations and a more punitive immigration policy are literally trying to change the “complexion” of America, according to O’Reilly. You see, three out of four new immigrants would join the Democratic party, thereby rendering the U.S. a one-party state. But why would O’Reilly assume that immigrants would automatically go Democrat by a factor of three to one? Maybe because the new brown-skinned population from the countries to our south might be turned off by the racist and nationalist rhetoric emanating from the Grand Ol’ Party?

I guess this means the Republican Party is the party of White Christian men after all. Turns out those paranoid, crazy, Black, Gay, Jewish, and Feminist Americans who have for so long denounced the Republican Party for being exclusively a party for White Christian men are not so paranoid or crazy after all!

I’m too exhausted right now to pick through the racist rantings of this bigot so I’ll just put in a link to the video and transcript.

Maybe if Bill Pervert O’Reilly thought there was a chance of him having sex with some of these immigrants, he’d be less hostile to immigration.

In the meantime, he rants, you decide.

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Mozambique Considers Lifting Abortion Ban.

In an effort to reduce the astronomical number of annual maternal deaths in Mozambique, the government of that African state is considering making abortion legal.

According to the Ministry of Health, illegal abortions are the third leading killer of pregnant women, a horrific statistic in light of the fact that Mozambique has one of the highest maternal death rates in the world.

South Africa saw a 91% drop in maternal deaths in the 10 years since abortion was legalized there. Worldwide, the World Health Organization reports that 68,000 women die annually from unsafe abortions.

Hopefully more African countries will follow Mozambique’s lead and recognize a woman’s right to choose when and whether to have children.

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