So . . . I normally wouldn’t blog about celebrities but, thanks to Spencer Pratt’s total and utter douchebaggery on the Tyra Banks Show, I’ve decided to say ”eff it!” and take the plunge.
Apparently, the topic of adoption came up while Spencer and the other half of the douche-tastic duo were on Tyra’s show. Naturally she asked what they would name their adopted kids and—true to form—Heidi and Spencer opened their mouths and spewed forth a tidal wave of douchery unseen since the time Tom Cruise jumped up and down on Oprah’s sofa.
Here’s the transcript:
Tyra: So what would you name your children . . . like Speidi or Hencer . . . or something?
Heidi: He wants to name one Dunk.
Spencer: No, ’cause I mean, this is when I was saying I wanna go to Africa and I wanna adopt an African and . . . he’s gonna be very tall and he’s gonna be Dunk . . . you know . . ..
Tyra: Like to dunk the ball? I thought you meant ba-dunk-a-dunk, like have a big booty.
Spencer: Yeah, I mean . . . that’ll work . . . if it’s a girl . . ..
Heidi: [giggling moronically].
There’s also a clip from The Soup on Youtube. Spencer and Heidi’s supreme demonstration of douchiness doesn’t come until six-and-a-half minutes into the clip, so jump ahead if you can’t wait to see douchery at its finest (the video will make you wish Tyra had shoved her mic into a part of Spencer’s anatomy where the sun traditionally don’t shine, but she doesn’t—proving once again that there is no God).
Now we know that when Spencer thinks African, he thinks basketball and big butts. That’s OK though, ’cause when I think douche, I think Spencer Pratt. In fact, I think I’ll go to LA and adopt him. Then I’ll name him Douche . . . ’cause I mean . . . you know . . . I want to give my kid a name he’ll live up to . . . and . . . well . . . I can’t think of anyone who better lives up to that name than Spencer Pratt.