Ode to the Plantain.

 

OK, this isn’t really an ode because . . . well . . . I’m not a poet and I know it. But a lunchtime discussion with a colleague has inspired me to write an homage to a little-known and easily overlooked fruit; the plantain.

Depending on where you’re from or where you’ve lived, you are probably already familiar with the plantain. If you’re not, find the nearest tall building, climb to the top of it and jump. Just kidding! But seriously, if you don’t know what a plantain is, your life’s not worth living. I’m just playing.

What can I say about the plantain? More importantly, what can’t I say about the plantain? Anything bad, that’s what. I mean, seldom has a better or more perfect food than the humble yet confident plantain existed. Humble because, unlike it’s genetically engineered cousin, the banana, the plantain turns a soft golden brown—not a garish yellow—when it ripens. Confident because the plantain chooses not to hang out in bunches but rather lie serenely in solitude on the grocer’s shelf. How many times have you walked right past the plantain, nose in air, drawn to more exotic-sounding or exotic-looking fruits like cumquats and starfruit?

Yet the plantain perseveres, waiting patiently for the day you may pick one up. For some of you, that day has yet to come. And I can’t blame you for, you see, the longer the plantains lies on the shelf, the less appetizing it appears. The skin goes from firm green to golden to brown and eventually to black. And it sags and wrinkles along the way. Who can blame you for passing by in oblivion, or worse, turning away in revulsion.

But what the plantain knows (and what you don’t) is that it is most delicious precisely at the point at which it looks least appetizing—when it’s skin is black and wrinked. The flesh, by now a little mushy, though still golden in color, clings reluctantly to the skin as you peel it away, ready to be roasted, boiled or—my favorite—fried.

You see, the plantain is not only deceptively delicious, it is also surprisingly versatile. Where I’m from, we eat our plantains fried and I would wager plantain eaters anywhere that it’s the best way to eat them. Ghanaians pound it into fufu (slightly inferior to a nice cassava fufu, if you ask me). Latinos fry, grill, and bake the green ones as well as the ripe ones. But I prefer them simply fried. Served on the side or with a spicy sauce, plantains can be eaten for breakfast, lunch, or dinner!

At the risk of sounding hyperbolic, I proclaim the plantain to be a little slice of heaven. Heaven, I say, because like Paradise, the plantain is always perfect. When has the plantain ever disappointed? When has the plantain not been delicious and fully satisfying? Sure, sometimes it’s a little dry but on such occasions, I blame the cook. Attempting to cook the plaintain before it’s perfectly ready to be cooked will result in a sub-standard meal. But all in all, the plantain is perfection itself.

I remember having plantain sandwiches for breakfast and again for lunch. Slices of perfectly ripe plantain fried to a deep amber hue, laid out on buttered bread, preferably the mini-baguettes (Fullah bread) so readily available at any corner shop in Freetown. Can anything be more delicious than the intoxicating mix of warm plantain and recently melted butter?

How I adore the lowly plantain, which looks like nothing more than an oversized banana yet gives so much and asks so little?

Check out this link for fried plantain recipes from Africa, the Caribbean, and Latin America.

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New Radio Show: July 23, 2007.

The July 23 edition of Diaspora Sounds is now available for your listening pleasure. Listen online or download to an mp3 player and listen later.

Click here to see the playlist.

Listen to the previous show here.

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What do you know, it turns out we’re all from Africa after all.

In what must surely come as a blow to adherents of race theory, a new study published in the journal Nature proves once and for all that the planet’s people are descended from a single human population whose origins lie in sub-Saharan Africa.

The scientists who conducted the study examined genetic data and skull measurements to arrive at their conclusions.

Read the full story below.

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iPhone Made Me a Believer.

I have a confession.

Unlike millions of people the world over, I have never been crazy about Apple products. Mac computers, iPods, Minis, and Nanos did nothing for me. I scoffed at Apple loyalists, likening them to religious zealots who fanatically believed Apple products to be vastly superior to comparable electronic devices. In my eyes, they were weak-willed trend chasers who were intimidated by complicated user interfaces and easily swayed by slick packaging and even slicker marketing. After all, I had never seen an Apple or Mac product that I felt was truly superior to anything else on the market.

But on Monday, all that changed after I had a close encounter with the iPhone, Apple’s first foray into the world of mobile telephony. And I have to admit, I was impressed.

The iPhone has, by far, the best interface I have ever seen on a mobile device, or any other electronic gadget for that matter. At 4.5 inches (115 mm) tall, 2.4 inches (61 mm) wide, 0.46 inch (11.6 mm) thick and weighing in at 4.8 ounces (135 grams), the iPhone is not the smallest phone out there. But it is by far the most revolutionary.

First off, there is not even a keypad and with only three external buttons, all functions and features are accessed through the touchscreen. On the left side of the iPhone is a mute switch. No need to access menus to look for profiles or the mute option. The power button is also external and, at the bottom of  the front panel, is a single button that takes you to the default screen, from where you can access all the other programs and features included in the phone. There is no stylus so you use your fingertips to select menu options and scroll through photos or contacts. If you rotate the phone from its normal upright position to a horizontal position, the screen image automatically reorients itself. To zoom in on an image, simply place your thumb and index finger on the part of the screen you’d like to enlarge and move them apart, as if you’re literally stretching the image. The included browser shows the full web page and you can move around on the page the same way you scroll through contacts or photos; with your fingertip. To access a link, simply tap it with your finger. To zoom in on any part of the web page, simply stretch the image with your thumb and finger.

For phone calls and text messages, simply tap an icon to summon a numbered keypad or QWERTY keyboard, which appear on the bottom of the screen. I assume most mobile phone users make calls directly from the contacts list anyway, so there’s little need for a real keypad. I wasn’t too crazy about the virtual QWERTY keyboard, though, because it seemed a little crowded and I didn’t get a chance to check whether the keyboard would widen itself if the phone is tilted horizontally. Minor detail. Oh, did I mention the iPhone also plays music through it’s built-in iPod function, boasts a four- or eight-gigabyte internal hard drive, and has a camera?

Perhaps the worst thing about the iPhone is that the battery is non-replaceable so users have to send their phones back to Apple after a couple of years to have the battery replaced. But that was the same deal with the iPod and it didn’t seem to hurt its sales. Also, the iPhone only works through AT&T’s mobile network. It would have been be nice if non-AT&T mobile customers could also own an iPhone. Also, I don’t know how/whether the iPhone works outside the US.

Now I’m no slouch when it comes to mobile phones and, in terms of features and functionality, I’d put my Nokia N80 up against any phone on the market, including the iPhone. But the iPhone wins hands down for its revolutionary user interface.

Finally, Apple has created a product that lives up to its hype.

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Jews for Jesus Leave No Stone Unturned in Search for Converts.

These days, it seems you can’t walk two blocks in DC without a member of Jews for Jesus handing you a flyer. While I’m generally very offended by any form of religious proselytizing, I have to confess I always accept the flyer and I always read it. I don’t do this because I think Jews for Jesus are on to something: quite the opposite, I think they’re full of—how can I put this diplomatically?—excrement.

But I have to give props where props are due and Jews for Jesus get props for being timely and innovative with their material. For example, in the middle of a DC heatwave, one of their flyers was entitled “Keeping Cool,” and it was all about how Jesus (Y’shua) is “the Son who refreshes . . . like rivers of living water.” Now from my reading of the Bible, I know that Jesus has been likened to a shepherd and even a sheep, but the river analogy is new to me. Kudos to Jews for Jesus for taking such an innovative approach to the Messiah. I mean, on a hot, sticky, humid summer day in DC, nothing sounds better than diving into a cool, refreshing body of water. And if Jesus is like that cool, refreshing body of water . . . well . . . I can understand how some people may be swayed. Not me. I’d rather see Jews for Jesus distribute a tract about the urgency of global warming and how to forestall and reverse its negative consequences. But that’s obviously not where they’re coming from.

So anyway, today’s flyer was not actually handed to me; one of my colleagues brought it in and placed it on the kitchen counter. Entitled “Paris Hilton: The Prison Life,” the flyer talks about how the law made Paris do the time for her crime, despite her parents’ hypothetical wish to pay someone else to serve out their daughter’s sentence. The punchline comes when the flyer informs me that, unlike Paris, I don’t have to serve out my sentence because Jesus has already sacrificed himself so I won’t have to. In other words, the sentence—the punishment for my sins—is eternal damnation, but Jesus could spare me this fate. The catch is, of course, I have to ask him to. Or rather, ask Jews for Jesus to pass on my request.

Which is where things get a little tricky for me. You see, I’m an old-fashioned guy who believes in accepting responsibility for my actions and facing whatever consequences may befall me. For that reason, I choose to live a life that conforms to my own personal ethics, doing unto others as I would have them do unto me, and all that good stuff. At the end of the day, if hell is where my immortal soul winds up, so be it. But I’m pretty sure I know where the only eternal parts of me—i.e., the individual atoms that make up my body—will end up. What’s left of me will end up right here on earth, making up the worms that eat the dirt into which I decomposed, and the birds that eat those worms, and the cats that eat those birds, and so on and so forth.

But that’s not what Christian proselytizers (let’s not kid ourselves, Jews for Jesus is a Christian evangelical group) want us to believe. They want us to believe that, as individuals, we are incapable of doing the right thing. In fact, they want to convince us that at the end of the day, our entire earthly existence is sinful and that we are doomed to an eternity in hell. But unlike the people Jews for Jesus hopes to convert, I’m fully prepared to deal with the consequences of my life choices and I don’t need anybody (the Messiah or anyone else) to take the heat for me. That’s how I roll.

But I have to add that, although I have little sympathy for Paris Hilton’s legal predicament, I can’t help but feel a little bad for her that Jews for Jesus is now using her story in an attempt to get people to read their tracts. That makes them almost as pathetic as Paris. I’m also annoyed because until today, I had successfully banished Paris Hilton from my consciousness, having fully convinced myself that she is a figment of our society’s twisted imagination. Now, thanks to Jews for Jesus, I can no longer deny the existence of Paris Hilton. Even worse, I’ve devoted half-an-hour and part of a blog to her.

Come to think of it, if there are no annoying proselytizers giving out flyers in hell, it might actually not be such a bad place.

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War on Menstruation Enters Latest Phase.

We’ve all heard of premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and it’s many negative effects on women’s moods and whatnot but now, it seems menstruation itself is being targeted as a medical condition; and of course, the pharmaceutical companies are lining up with their version of “the cure.”

Read on . . ..

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Can You Spell “Uptight?”

Rotraut Susanne Berner—author of several children’s books that have sold well in both her native Germany and internationally—was thrilled to get a letter from a US publishing house expressing interest in translating and publishing her books in this country.

Then there was a minor glitch. First, the publisher asked that all smokers be excised from the drawings in Berner’s books. I guess we wouldn’t want our children to see images of adults smoking.

But there was another, larger issue. One scene in the book, set in an art gallery, depicts a nude painting with bare breasts. But that’s not all. There’s also a statue of an anatomically correct naked man atop a pedestal. Well, anatomically correct is a bit of an exaggeration. The cartoon statue stands about seven millimeters tall and you wouldn’t be able to see his bits even if you used the Hubbel Telescope.

But this was all too much for the publisher, Boyds Mills Press. They asked Ms. Berner to remove the offending painting and statue from the scene. She refused, offering a compromise instead: She agreed to have black censorship bars placed over the offensive cartoon breasts and the nude statue’s microscopic member. The author said that, while she would consider letting her drawings be censored, she believed her readers had a right to know that they were looking at censored drawings. The publishing house rejected the compromise.

So the author turned down their offer.

Good for her for not buying into the hyper-uptight, anti-sex, puritanical madness that is so much the vogue in the US today. In one of my first posts, I talked about how the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) routinely rates films with sexual content more severely (R and NC-17) than films with graphic violence. At the end of the day, the average American child will see millions of violent images over the course of their lives but our society will take care to protect them from images of nudity. And millions of American women who watch Desperate Housewives or read Cosmo will be exposed to artificial and unnatural standards of beauty that will undermine their self-esteem, distort their image of their own bodies, and lead to unhealthy eating and dieting habits and a host of other consequences of negative body image.

So why make such a big deal about cartoon nudes in a children’s book? Why is the American public so opposed to anything remotely deemed sexual (not that these cartoon nudes are particularly sexual). I’m sure part of the answer lies in Christianity’s anti-sex posture, which deems sinful and dirty anything having to do with “the flesh.” I personally think the whole discourse is idiotic. At the risk of exposing myself to accusations of insensitivity towards the visually impaired, I would like to ask, Who among us has never seen breasts? And, despite such medical advances as the Caesarian Section, I would venture to say that most of the human population still enters the world through a vagina. Why then treat the body as something dirty, an object of shame unfit for the eyes of children?

I don’t have children of my own but if I did, I’d rather they saw nude art than violence in movies or stick-thin women on TV and in magazines.

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Hey Dr. Gupta, you don’t have to be a brain surgeon to know that our healthcare system needs an overhaul!

Yesterday, I watched with great delight as Michael Moore ripped Wolf Blitzer and his CNN colleague, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, a new you-know-what in response to the good doctor’s biased review of Moore’s latest film, Sicko.

Good for Michael Moore!

And shame on Dr. Gupta for trying to muddy the waters on a much-needed debate about the state of our country’s healthcare system. Michael Moore does a good job of rebutting Dr. Gupta’s review (with a few shots taken at CNN’s coverage of the lead-up to the Iraq war, to boot) so I’m not going to repeat any of it.

But I do feel the need to call the good doctor out on some other points.

According to a WHO report (see also my earlier post on how the US did against other industrialized nations), the US healthcare system ranks 37th in the world, behind all other industrialized nations. Rather than address this startling fact (made even more startling because the US is today the richest country in the world), Dr. Gupta chooses to elide by pointing out that Cuba (featured in Sicko) was ranked 39th!

Um . . . in case you hadn’t noticed, Doctor, Cuba is a small Caribbean island that has endured an economic embargo for the better part of the last half-century. You should be ashamed that this poor country was only two points behind the US in this WHO ranking. I mean, it’s not like when the Founding Fathers set out to build this country, their goal was to create a country with a better health care system than Cuba! And, last time I checked, the Cuban government was not proud enough of the way they do things to invade other countries and bring them a better way of life. We should be ashamed that, despite the wealth and power of the US, we only beat Cuba—which has neither the economic power nor physical infrastructure of the US—by two points!!!

Unlike Dr. Sanjay Gupta, I’m no brain surgeon so I can’t comment on how healthcare works here and abroad, but I do have some experience with the US and British healthcare systems. In the US, my health insurance contribution comes directly out of my paycheck because, unlike millions of other Americans, I’m lucky enough to have a job that provides me with subsidized health insurance. Then, every time I go to the doctor, I pay a $30 co-pay (because I was stupid enough to choose the HMO option). If I have to see a specialist after a visit to my primary-care doctor, I have to pay the specialist a $40 co-pay. Then, if I go the pharmacy to fill a prescription, I have to pay again for my medication. Finally, if I have any bloodwork or other tests done by a lab, I get a bill from the lab. At the end of the scenario outlined above (which happens with some regularity), I end up paying five times! And I’m one of the lucky ones who has health insurance through my work. We all know someone who’s been brought to the brink of financial ruin for failing to get pre-approval for an ambulance ride or an overnight stay in the hospital (as if these kinds of emergencies can ever be planned in advance!).

Compare this to the British healthcare system (NHS). I spent a year doing my Masters degree in London and went to the doctor a couple of times. The doctor’s visit was free and I was able to see him at my own convenience, within a few days of calling to make the appointment. My blood tests were free. My annual HIV test was free. I just walked into the clinic, wrote down my name on a clipboard and waited to be called. When I went to the pharmacy to fill out my prescription, the guy behind the counter took the Rx note and came right back with a bottle of pills and some other stuff. I started walking back to the door and realized I hadn’t paid him. I went back and asked him how much I owed. He asked me, “You’re diabetic, right?” I said I was. He then told me diabetes medication is free under NHS!!!

Granted I was studying in Britain and I had paid my tuition already (which by the way was much cheaper than tuition here) but that’s not why I was eligible for free NHS care. As a visitor on longer than a six-month visa, I was entitled to the same health benefits as British nationals! How many foreign students in the US get such a good deal?

So back to Dr. Sanjay Gupta, who proudly declared in his review of Sicko that waiting periods in European countries for procedures like hip replacements are longer than in the US. Fair enough. But how often does the average person go to the hospital for a hip replacement? And what about the millions of Americans who work part-time (often part-time at multiple jobs so they end up working more than 40-hour weeks) but don’t have health insurance through any one employer? They may not have to wait as long as their German counterparts to have their hips replaced but without health insurance, how do they pay for their hip replacements? Or for that matter, basic healthcare needs?

Sure, Cuba may have a worse healthcare system than we do (but not by much, apparently) but that’s not something to gloat about. Despite that country’s small size and economic stagnation, their healthcare system is only slightly worse than ours. Nonetheless, according to the CIA World Factbook, Cuba has a lower infant mortality rate than Chile and Argentina, two of the most developed countries in Latin America, and a slightly lower infant mortality rate than the US. Before anyone dismisses these figures as Cuban government propaganda, let me remind you these figures come from the CIA. Why would the CIA lie in Cuba’s favor?

So Dr. Gupta—in a clear case of shooting the messenger—tries to undermine Michael Moore’s credibility rather than talk about the problems of our healthcare system. But the truth is, it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to know our system is messed up. Maybe Sanjay Gupta should take a break from playing doctor and devote some more time to being a journalist. It’s high time he and other people in the mainstream media started asking tough questions about the pressing issues of the day.

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Mombasa Prostitutes Get No Breaks!

According to the BBC, prostitutes in the predominantly Muslim city of Mombasa, which sits on the Kenyan coast, are increasingly ditching their typically revealing work attire in favor of traditional head-to-toe garb.

Some of the prostitutes say they do it to hide their identities because they are ashamed to be seen plying their trade, which they consider to be a sin. Others choose to fully cover themselves to avoid arrest because police can not distinguish them from non–working women.

But the switch to more modest attire has not been met with universal approval. Local women who are not engaged in sex work complain that they now feel there is nothing to distinguish them from prostitutes.

To these women I say, “Too bad!” Isn’t it bad enough for the prostitutes that they have to sell sex and risk their lives and health just so they can earn a living? I mean, give these poor women a break! Don’t you think it’s hard enough to go against the rules of tradition and religion in pursuit of a living? Now you’re unhappy because they dress like you? Come on! Maybe you hoity-toity women would prefer prostitutes to endure further humiliation in your conservative society by openly identifying themselves as sex workers.

But I am curious about how customers know who is a prostitute and who isn’t?

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Lessons From Katrina

I decided to give the first post of the day over to someone with more hands-on experience. Read on . . .

 

How to Destroy an African American City in
Thirty Three Steps – Lessons from Katrina
 
By Bill Quigley

 

Step One.  Delay. If there is one word that sums up the way to destroy an African-American city after a disaster, that word is DELAY. If you are in doubt about any of the following steps – just remember to delay and you will probably be doing the right thing.

Step Two. When a disaster is coming, do not arrange a public evacuation. Rely only on individual resources. People with cars and money for hotels will leave. The elderly, the disabled and the poor will not be able to leave. Most of those without cars – 25% of households of New Orleans, overwhelmingly African-Americans – will not be able to leave. Most of the working poor, overwhelmingly African-American, will not be able to leave. Many will then permanently accuse the victims who were left behind of creating their own human disaster because of their own poor planning. It is critical to start by having people blame the victims for their own problems.

Step Three. When the disaster hits, make certain the national response is overseen by someone who has no experience at all handling anything on a large scale, particularly disasters. In fact, you can even inject some humor into the response – have the disaster coordinator be someone whose last job was the head of a dancing horse association.

Step Four. Make sure that the President and national leaders remain aloof and only slightly concerned. This sends an important message to the rest of the country.

Step Five. Make certain the local, state, and national governments do not respond in a coordinated, effective way. This will create more chaos on the ground.

Step Six. Do not bring in food or water or communications right away. This will make everyone left behind more frantic and create incredible scenes for the media.

Step Seven. Make certain that the media focus of the disaster is not on the heroic community work of thousands of women, men and young people helping the elderly, the sick and the trapped survive, but mainly on acts of people looting. Also spread and repeat the rumors that people trapped on rooftops are shooting guns, not to attract attention and get help, but AT the helicopters. This will reinforce the message that “those people” left behind are different from the rest of us and are beyond help.

Step Eight. Refuse help from other countries. If we accept help, it looks like we cannot or choose not to handle this problem ourselves. This cannot be the message. The message we want to put out over and over is that we have plenty of resources and there is plenty of help. Then if people are not receiving help, it is their own fault. This should be done quietly.

Step Nine. Once the evacuation of those left behind actually starts, make sure people do not know where they are going or have any way to know where the rest of their family has gone. In fact, make sure that African-Americans end up much farther away from home than others.

Step Ten. Make sure that when government assistance finally has to be given out, it is given out in a totally arbitrary way. People will have lost their homes, jobs, churches, doctors, schools, neighbors and friends. Give them a little bit of money, but not too much. Make people dependent. Then cut off the money. Then give it to some and not others. Refuse to assist more than one person in every household. This will create conflicts where more than one generation live together. Make it impossible for people to get consistent answers to their questions. Long lines and busy phones will discourage people from looking for help.

Step Eleven. Insist the President suspend federal laws requiring living wages and affirmative action for contractors working on the disaster. While local workers are still displaced, import white workers from outside the city for the high-paying jobs like crane and bulldozer operators. Import Latino workers from outside the city for the low-paying dangerous jobs. Make sure to have elected officials, black and white, blame job problems on the lowest wage immigrant workers. This will create divisions between black and brown workers that can be exploited by those at the top. Because many of the brown workers do not have legal papers, those at the top will not have to worry about paying decent wages, providing health insurance, following safety laws, unemployment compensation, workers compensation, or union organizing. These become, essentially, disposable workers – use them, then lose them.

Step Twelve. Whatever you do, keep people away from their city for as long as possible. This is the key to long-term success in destroying the African-American city. Do not permit people to come home. Keep people guessing about what is going to happen and when it is going to happen. Set numerous deadlines and then break them. This will discourage people and make it increasingly difficult for people to return.

Step Thirteen. When you finally have to reopen the city, make sure to reopen the African-American sections last. This will aggravate racial tensions in the city and create conflicts between those who are able to make it home and those who are not.

Step Fourteen. When the big money is given out, make sure it is all directed to homeowners and not to renters. This is particularly helpful in a town like New Orleans that was majority African-American and majority renter. Then, after you have excluded renters, mess up the program for the homeowners so that they must wait for years to get money to fix their homes.

Step Fifteen. Close down all the public schools for months. This will prevent families with children in the public school system, overwhelmingly African-Americans, from coming home.

Step Sixteen. Fire all the public school teachers, teacher aides, cafeteria workers and bus drivers and de-certify the teachers union – the largest in the state. This will primarily hurt middle class African Americans and make them look for jobs elsewhere.

Step Seventeen. Even better, take this opportunity to flip the public school system into a charter system and push foundations and the government for extra money to the new charter schools. Give the schools with the best test scores away first. Then give the least flooded schools away next. Turn 70% of schools into charters so that the kids with good test scores or solid parental involvement will go to the charters. That way, the kids with average scores, or learning disabilities, or single parent families, who are still displaced, are kept segregated away from the “good” kids. You will have to set up a few schools for those other kids, but make sure those schools do not get any extra money, do not have libraries, nor doors on the toilets, nor enough teachers. In fact, because of this, you better make certain there are more security guards than teachers.

Step Eighteen. Let the market do what it does best. When rent goes up 70%, say there is nothing we can do about it. This will have two great results: it will keep many former residents away from the city and it will make landlords happy. If wages go up, immediately import more outside workers and wages will settle down.

Step Nineteen. Make sure all the predominately white suburbs surrounding the African-American city make it very difficult for the people displaced from the city to return to the metro area. Have one suburb refuse to allow any new subsidized housing at all. Have the Sheriff of another threaten to stop and investigate anyone wearing dreadlocks. Throw in a little humor and have one nearly all-white suburb pass a law that makes it illegal for homeowners to rent to people other than their blood relatives! The courts may strike these down, but it will take time and the message will be clear – do not think about returning to the suburbs.

Step Twenty. Reduce public transportation by more than 80%. The people without cars will understand the message.

Step Twenty-One. Keep affordable housing to a minimum. Instead, use the money to reopen the Superdome and create tourism campaigns. Refuse to boldly create massive homeownership opportunities for former renters. Delay re-opening apartment complexes in African American neighborhoods. As long as less than half the renters can return to affordable housing, they will not return.

Step Twenty-Two. Keep all public housing closed. Since it is 100% African-American, this is a no-brainer. Make sure to have African-Americans be the people who deliver the message. This step will also help by putting more pressure on the rental market, as 5000 more families will then have to compete for rental housing with low-income workers. This will provide another opportunity for hundreds of millions of government funds to be funneled to corporations when these buildings are torn down and developers can build up other less-secure buildings in their place. Make sure to tell the 5000 families evicted from public housing that you are not letting them back for their own good. Tell them you are trying to save them from living in a segregated neighborhood. This will also send a good signal – if the government can refuse to allow people back, private concerns are free to do the same or worse.

Step Twenty-Three. Shut down as much public health as possible. Sick and elderly people and moms with little kids need access to public healthcare. Keep the public hospital, which hosted about 350,000 visits a year before the disaster, closed. Keep the neighborhood clinics closed. Put all the pressure on the private healthcare facilities and provoke economic and racial tensions there between the insured and uninsured.

Step Twenty-Four. Close as many public mental healthcare providers as possible. The trauma of the disaster will seriously increase stress on everyone. Left untreated, medical experts tell us this will dramatically increase domestic violence, self-medication and drug and alcohol abuse and, of course, crime.

Step Twenty-Five. Keep the city environment unfriendly to women. Women were already widely discriminated against before the storm. Make sure that you do not reopen day care centers. This, combined with the lack of healthcare, lack of affordable housing, and lack of transportation, will keep moms with kids away. If you can keep women with kids away, the city will destroy itself.

Step Twenty-Six. Create and maintain an environment where black on black crime will flourish. As long as you can keep parents out of town, keep the schools hostile to kids without parents, keep public healthcare closed, make only low-paying jobs available, not fund social workers or prosecutors or public defenders or police, and keep chaos the norm, young black men will certainly kill other young black men. To increase the visibility of the crime problem, bring in the National Guard in fatigues to patrol the streets in their camouflage hummers.

Step Twenty-Seven. Strip the local elected, predominately African American government of its powers. Make certain the money that is coming in to fix up the region is not under their control. Privatize as much as you can as quickly as you can – housing, healthcare, and education for starters. When in doubt, privatize. Create an appointed commission of people who have no experience in government to make all the decisions. In fact, it is better to create several such commissions; that way, no one will really be sure who is in charge and there will be much more delay and conflict. Treat the local people like they are stupid; you know what is best for them much better than they do.

Step Twenty-Eight. Create lots of planning processes but give them no authority. Overlap them where possible. Give people conflicting signals whether their neighborhood will be allowed to rebuild or be turned into green space. This will create confusion, conflict and aggravation. People will blame the officials closest to them – the local African-American officials, even though they do not have any authority to do anything about these plans, since they do not control the rebuilding money.

Step Twenty-Nine. Hold an election but make it very difficult for displaced voters to participate. In fact, do not allow any voting in any place outside the state, even though we do it for Americans in other countries and even though hundreds of thousands of people are still displaced. This is very important because when people are not able to vote, those who have been able to return can say, “Well, they didn’t even vote, so I guess they are not interested in returning.”

Step Thirty. Get the elected officials out of the way and make room for corporations to make a profit. There are billions to be made in this process for well-connected national and international corporations. There is so much chaos that no one will be able to figure out, for a long time, exactly where the money went. There is no real attempt to make sure that local businesses, especially African-American businesses, get contracts – at best they get modest subcontracts from the corporations that got the big money. Make sure the authorities prosecute a couple of little people who ripped off $2,000 – that will temporarily satisfy people who know they are being ripped off and divert attention from the big money rip-offs. This will also provide another opportunity to blame the victims – as critics can say, “Well, we gave them lots of money, they must have wasted it, how much more can they expect from us?”

Step Thirty One. Keep people’s attention diverted from the African-American city. Pour money into Iraq instead of the Gulf Coast . Corporations have figured out how to make big bucks whether we are winning or losing the war. It is easier to convince the country to support war – support for cities is much, much tougher. When the war goes badly, you can change the focus of the message to supporting the troops. Everyone loves the troops. No one can say we all love African-Americans. Focus on terrorists – that always seems to work.

Step Thirty-Two. Refuse to talk about or look seriously at race. Condemn anyone who dares to challenge the racism of what is going on – accuse them of “playing the race card” or say they are paranoid. Criticize people who challenge the exclusion of African-Americans as people who “just want to go back to the bad old days.” Repeat the message that you want something better for everyone. Use African American spokespersons where possible.

Step Thirty-Three. Repeat these steps.

Note to readers: Every fact in this list actually happened and continues to happen in New Orleans, after Katrina.

Bill Quigley is a law professor and Director of the Law Clinic and the Gillis Long Poverty Law Center at Loyola University New Orleans. He has been an active public interest lawyer since 1977 and has served as counsel with a wide range of public interest organizations on issues including Katrina social justice issues, public housing, voting rights, death penalty, living wage, civil liberties, educational reform, constitutional rights and civil disobedience. He has litigated numerous cases with the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund, Inc., the Advancement Project, and with the ACLU of Louisiana, for which he served as General Counsel for over 15 years.

This column was originally published on the Black Commentator.

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